*finishes suckin a dick
**crushes it against my forehead like a beer can
“Wait…how did he do that?”
I really cannot deal with this 😭
Science has proven that:
- Humans have auras
- Humans have organs that sense energy
- We inherit memories from our anscestors
- Meditation repairs telomeres in DNA, which slows the process of aging.
- Compassion extends life
- Love is more than just an emotion
- Billions of other universes exist
- Meditation speeds healing
Science has also proven that:
- giving credible and objective sources to support a claim is very helpful
- just because you want something to be true, it does not mean it is
- evidence should be cited directly and without any change
- if you are making a claim, it is your duty to provide evidence for it.
Patriots Draft Pat Patriot’s Successor With Third-Round Pick Of Sophomore LSU Mascot
FOXBOROUGH, MA—In a bold move to usher the franchise into the future, the New England Patriots reportedly drafted Pat Patriot’s successor Monday by using a third-round pick, 72nd overall, to select sophomore LSU mascot Mike the Tiger.
Several reports indicate that the team plans to groom Mike the Tiger to eventually take over for the veteran Pat Patriot, revealing that members of New England’s coaching staff were enamored with the consensus All-American mascot’s nonstop motor, mobility, and elite antics.
“We got a good value with the pick and improved our football team with a top-tier mascot,” said head coach Bill Belichick, lauding Mike the Tiger’s toughness and durability as well as the SEC standout’s large repertoire of dance moves. “This is a tough, gritty kid who never missed a single game for LSU over the last two years and is very explosive while bounding and tumbling all over the place.”
“Does a nice job setting the tone with incredibly physical hijinks,” continued Belichick.
